a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
