I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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