that's an acceptable place to lick
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
