Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
