just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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