i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
