Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
