So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
