Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
