Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i came on her dog
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
