On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
