I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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