I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
