just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Randomize
