ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Randomize
