so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
