I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
