dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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