Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
