Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Randomize
