Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
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