So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
