I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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