Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
There's only two more days left to say you saw me naked this year.....I'll bring the booze, you got all of next year to rationalize why.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
