I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
