So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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