i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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