Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
