Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
why is half of my head shaved?
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