i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Go christen that room with your naked body.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
