There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
All the doctor said was why
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize