Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
