They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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