Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I can feel your judgement through the phone
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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