apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
