i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize