He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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