I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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