Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Randomize
