Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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