I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
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