Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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