Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
