The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
