think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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