Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
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