Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I checked into jail on foursquare
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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