The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Randomize
