she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
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