you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
