Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
