the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
