i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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