i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
