I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
