HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
