just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
